I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
