why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
