the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Oh god it's open bar.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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