My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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