she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
