I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
