Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
