She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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