I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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