I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
This is my gift to your gina
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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