just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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