For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
