I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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