dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
