Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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