my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
