I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize