Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
