Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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