Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
