I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
