So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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