You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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