is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
