hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
