I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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