my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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