mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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