i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
