i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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