Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
