The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
