..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
why do cheetos always look like penises
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
