his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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