she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
