Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
