Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
