i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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