That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
