Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
