if you like me you must not know who I am
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
His hands were made for my vagina.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
