I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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