I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
