So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
