i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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