I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
