The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize