So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
