try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
