lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
