party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
