Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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