This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
