I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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