Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
