big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
