I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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