well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
