I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
