What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
