I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
