My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
