so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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