Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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