people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize