I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
