Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
