i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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