yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
