In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize