just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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