I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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