He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
