guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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