I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
