You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
