We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
