Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
