i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
