Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
