She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
