Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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