you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
