When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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