Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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